Life of the party

Posted on November 18, 2011 by Vimala

With the holiday season coming, there’s going to be a lot of parties.

Do you get invited and not go because you are worried you won’t know what to say or how to socialize?

Are you tired of going to parties and getting ignored by most people?

Are you sick of hiding in a corner waiting for dinner to be served so you can eat and leave quickly?

Do you go to the company dinner & dance because you have to but just eat dinner and go home as quickly as possible?

Do you see other people who can go on stage and participate in games, etc and wonder if you will ever be able to do that?

Does the thought of meeting new people scare you?

Are you worried that you might make a fool of yourself at the party?

Bach Flower Remedies can help you.

If you feeling shy and nervous, take Mimulus.

If you are lacking the self-confidence to go to the party or to speak up, take Larch.

If you get tongue-tied or at a loss for words, try Mimulus + Clematis.

If you feel very anxious, take Aspen.

If the thought of going to the party is making you lose sleep, try White Chestnut + Mimulus.

At the party, keep Rescue Remedy with you and take a 2-4 drops (or sprays) directly in your mouth to keep yourself centred and calm.

If you are new to Bach Flower Remedies, or you want directions on how to use these remedies, sign up on the right and get my f-r.e-e ebook.

Go ahead, go to the parties and enjoy yourself. Bach Flowers come to your rescue.

Posted in Anxiety relief, Stress Relief, Worry | Leave a comment

What we want

Posted on October 25, 2011 by Vimala

Tomorrow Oct 25, 2011 is Deepavali day (also called Diwali, meaning “Festival of Lights”).

This is the biggest festival for a Hindu like myself.  For me Deepavali day is usually spent in prayer, paying respects to elders, getting together with extended family and friends.

As I was rushing with all the preparations for Deepavali this year, I asked myself what I am really looking to get from this day. I realized what I am looking for is a sense of connection with family and friends, feeling happy and enjoying the good things and good people in my life.

On that note, I want to share with you a video from one of my mentors, Tony Robbins.

In this video, Tony talks about what we really really want. Whether we want a great relationship or a million dollars or a vacation home or to live in Bali forever, what we really really want is to FEEL GOOD. It is all about how we want to feel.

Watch the video (it is only 8+ minutes) and share your thoughts/comments.

Happy Deepavali (Diwali) to all Hindu readers of my blog.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEEEjdAdT-M

Note: Don’t be offended by some bad language – go for his message and what it means to you.

 

Posted in Emotional Health, Happiness | Leave a comment

A smooth life

Posted on October 11, 2011 by Vimala

Is it just me, or does it kinda seem like just when things settle down a bit, something else (usually something stressful) happens, and things seem to fall apart ….. again?

Every time I talk with a client, it seems like something is falling apart in their lives. Just as they start making progress towards managing their stress, developing new useful habits, something happens that throws them in a spin.

This happened to me too a couple of months ago. My father was hospitalised for over 2 weeks, then came home. Just as we were heaving a sigh of relief, he fell down, fractured his hip and needed surgery! This threw all of us in a spin, lot of emotional stress again…….

As I was thinking what to blog about, I thought why not write about what I was going through, and what I was learning.

Just 2 days before my father fell down and broke his hip, I had started walking by the beach for an hour each morning. I have always loved the beach and I live within 10 minutes walk from the beach. Yet for many years, I did not start this practice of morning walk at the beach. Just when I started it, my father’s hospitalization happened and it seeemed like my new habit would be derailed.

I kept thinking “why can’t I have a smooth life, for once? Why must everything seem so difficult?”

That was when I had my “a-ha” moment.

I realized that no one (absolutely no one alive) has a “smooth” life. It is in the nature of life to have ups and downs. Life will throw curve balls at us. So what are we to do?

I decided that I was asking the wrong questions. Instead of asking “why can’t I have a smooth life? Why must everything seem so difficult?”, I could ask “how can I ride this? how can I make this easier for myself? what can I learn from this?”

The answer came pretty fast – the only thing I could do was to choose how I would respond to life’s curve balls. I could choose how I would feel about the situation. Instead of getting stressed out, pitying myself or any number of disempowering responses, I could look at what I could do.

My father was in the hospital & needed surgery. Not much I could do about that.

I went and visited him and gave him encouragement. I emailed some friends and asked that they pray for him. I rescheduled some of my appointments so that I could also rest a bit. I tackled some smaller tasks to take my mind off things. Overall, I felt much better, felt more empowered to deal with the situation.

My friend, there is always something positive you can do even when life throws these curve balls at you. Take a moment to move yourself from the negative to the positive side of things.

One Bach Flower Remedy that can help when you feel all down and pessimistic is Gentian. Take 4 doses 4 times a day until you feel better. Gentian moves you into a more optimistic state of mind from which you can make better choices.

For detailed instructions and where to buy the remedy, please sign up on the right and get my free ebook.

Posted in Emotional Health, Happiness | Leave a comment

Setting Boundaries

Posted on October 4, 2011 by Vimala

A couple of months ago, I had a situation that brought home to me the need for boundaries.

A homeopathic client of mine who had not visited for over 5 months suddenly SMSed me asking for an appointment (I work only by appointment). I was very busy that week and gave her an appointment for the following week – Wednesday at 11am.

Unfortunately, I fell sick and SMSed her to postpone the Wednesday appointment. She replied that she needed treatment soon. So I referred her to another homeopath. Unfortunately the other homeopath was also very busy and could not take any new clients for another 2 weeks.

So I SMSed my client and offered her an appointment on Thursday at 9.30am even though I was not feeling completely well. I also informed her to come punctually as I had other appointments after hers. She agreed to the appointment date and time.

On Thursday morning, it was raining. I was feeling very very tired but pushed myself to get up and get ready for the appointment. I was at my office by 9.00am. The client did not turn up at 9.30am. I thought she might be delayed due to the rain and decided to wait for a while.

I SMSed and called her around 9.45am but no reply. At 10am (half-an-hour after appointment time) she SMSed me back saying it was raining and asking if I could see her an hour later. I was feeling quite annoyed.

I calmed myself and replied to her that I would have appreciated her contacting me BEFORE the appointment time if she needed to change it. I also wrote that I was really sorry but I could not work this way.

She never replied – not even a sorry – perhaps she was embarrassed, perhaps she was angry. Anyway she never replied. I must admit this left a sour taste in my mouth.

I was still feeling somewhat annoyed. I could have continued feeling upset but I decided to use this as a “learning moment”. I started by asking myself some thinking questions.

First I asked myself what was my part in this, in what way had I contributed to this situation?

The answer came loud and clear – there were a couple of times in the past when this client turned up late for appointments and apologised. I let it go and accommodated her. Also I did not charge her for the time I had lost by her impunctuality. I also realized that I had bent over backwards to help her out, and she probably mistook that as my weakness.

Secondly, I asked myself why had I accommodated her in the past. I realized that I wanted to be “nice” and to be “liked”. Also I wanted to “help” her as much as possible. Now I understand that while these were good intentions, the way I went about it was ineffective.

Thirdly, I asked myself what could I have done differently. The very first time she came late, I could have highlighted to her that I would accommodate her for that time only and if it happened in future, I would charge for “lost” time. I could have told her clearly that cancellation of appointment must be done at least 12 hours before appointment time (or something like that).

When she came late the second time, I could have been very clear that this is not acceptable.

When she made the Thursday appointment with me, while I did tell her to come punctually, I could have also highlighted that lost time will be chargeable. I could have called her and made this very clear.

Having thought about it now and knowing that I could have done things differently, I have learned from this and will be setting clear boundaries with clients from now on.

One of the main reasons we get stressed is due to lack of boundaries. When we do not draw clear boundaries in our relationships, people start taking us for granted. We feel annoyed and upset inside but continue as usual perhaps because we want to be nice, not rock the boat, etc.

People continue to take us for granted and we keep getting annoyed and stressed, and explode one day. The other person does not understand why we are upset because we had accepted the situation previously. This happens a lot within the family but can happen at work too.

Think about it. What areas of your life are  you not drawing boundaries in? When people treat you in ways that are unacceptable to you, what do you do – keep quiet, tolerate it, hope that the other person will somehow change, that they will somehow know what you feel? Unless you speak up and set clear boundaries, the other person is not going to miraculously change.

If you need help with setting boundaries, be able to say “NO” and stop being a doormat for others, take the Bach Flower Remedy Centaury. For directions on use, please sign up on the right and get my free ebook.

Till the next post, keep learning and growing.

Vimala

 

Posted in Stress Relief | 1 Comment

Identify your Stress Triggers

Posted on September 27, 2011 by Vimala

As we all know, to solve ANY problem, we need to know what the problem really is. Awareness gives us the opportunity and the ability to make choices.

To manage your stress, Identifying your Stress triggers (i.e. what makes you feel stressed) is vital and important information. Knowing your Stress Triggers beforehand means that you have opportunity to prepare for it, plan for how you will handle it and helps you make a conscious, mature response rather than react with stress.

You can start by keeping a short “stress awareness diary” – this can be a physical diary or even a notepad on your phone or iPod. The important thing is to write a short note on

  • when you got stressed
  • what made you feel stressed
  • how you reacted or behaved then
  • how long did your stress reaction last
  • what could you have done differently

Write this down for any (or all) stress situations that occur for you for one to two weeks.

Go back and review the information and note the common factors in those events. For instance, do you frequently get stressed when you are driving, do you usually get stressed after a call to your mom,  do you usually feel stressed at a certain time of day or month (ladies, you may notice this in the week before your menses). Identify the triggers and patterns.

Consciously plan on what you can do differently when a similar trigger comes up the next time. For example, you could avoid making that call to your mom until you feel relaxed or draw some clear boundaries with her, you could listen to some soothing music while driving instead of listening to the news……. and so on.

Remember, Awareness give you the opportunity and the ability to make a different choice.

To your Stress-Free and Successful Life.

Vimala

 

Posted in Emotional Health, Stress Relief | Leave a comment

Happiness

Posted on September 20, 2011 by Vimala

I read somewhere that no matter what goals and dreams we have, ultimately what each and every one of us wants is Happiness.

Today I want to share with you a quote on Happiness. Think about it and see what comes up for you. Do share your comments below.

“Happiness is a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”
– Nathaniel Hawthorne

 

 

Posted in Happiness | Leave a comment

Flower remedies for fear

Posted on September 13, 2011 by Vimala

In the last post, I wrote about fear being your friend or foe.

In this post, I write about some Bach Flower Remedies that can help you move beyond fear.

Mimulus – for specific fears, e.g. fear of spiders, fear of an upcoming event, fear of falling, fear of exams, fear of going to the dentist, fear of meeting new people, etc

Aspen – for fears that you are not able to name – vague fears that cause you a lot of anxiety but you are not able to say exactly what you are afraid of

Red Chestnut – fear for the health or safety of your loved ones (fear that is excessive – way beyond the normal concern we have for our loved ones)

Cherryplum – fear of losing your mind, fear of losing control, fear of going insane

Rock Rose – extreme fright, terror or panic.

Larch – fear of failure & lack of self-confidence

Cerato – fear of making a “wrong” decision & not trusting your own intution and judgement

For detailed instructions on where to buy these remedies, how to use them, etc, please sign up on the right and get my free ebook.

Posted in Fear | Leave a comment

Fear – friend or foe?

Posted on September 6, 2011 by Vimala

Fear – this word can strike so much “fear” in all of us.

Fear – people say it is the mother of all negative emotions.

Fear – someone guru says Fear is only “False Evidence Appearing Real”

Fear – someone else says “Feel the Fear & Do It Anyway”

One of my friends says cynically, Fear means “Forget Everything And Run”. (ha ha)

We all feel fear. We have felt it intensely at times, and felt it in the background at other times.

Fear can hold us back from many things we want to do.  Fear can also can force you to take action or give you the motivation to change your life.

One thing I realized is that fear brings with it a message – a message that what you fear probably holds a great opportunity to move your life forward. For example, do you feel fear when you are going to make a presentation to your CEO or when you have to meet your friends for a drink? Which of these contains an opportunity for something great for you?

Think about it – is Fear your friend or foe?

In the next post, I’ll write about some Bach Flower Remedies that can help you move beyond fear.

Do leave me a comment, idea or suggestion. I’d love to hear from you.

Vimala

Posted in Fear | Leave a comment

Afraid of your emotions?

Posted on August 30, 2011 by Vimala

Are your afraid of your negative emotions? Are you worried about feeling fear, anxiety, worry, guilt or other negative emotions?

Don’t be.

In today’s post, I want to show you -

  • how your emotions are your friends
  • how they are always giving you “messages”
  • how you can understand these messages
  • what you can do about them.

Let me give you an example of how a negative emotion is your friend. Let’s say you  feel that you are justified in hating someone who hurt you or mistrteated you. Let’s look at what is happening with you here. You feel angry, you feel hatred, you feel indignation, you feel hurt, and so on.

This is creating a problem for you, not for the person who hurt you.

What are the negative emotions trying to tell you – that you are holding on to hurt, that you are being unforgiving, that you may be becoming rigid, that you are punishing yourself. The negative emotions are your friends giving you messages that you are going out of balance.

So the first indication of being out of balance is the feeling of negative emotion. On the other hand, the first indication of coming back to balance is positive emotion.

When you understand that you have this in-built guidance system (of emotions) that is giving you feedback in every moment, you can start paying attention to the emotions, to the messages they’re sending to you and start doing things differently. Your life will change for the better, I promise.

One thing you can do right away is ask yourself these questions when you feel a negative emotion -

  • What am I feeling?
  • What is the message in this?
  • What can I learn from this?
  • How can I behave/do/think about this situation differently?
  • How can I apply this learning on a day-to-day basis?

If you want to take this even further, one more question -

  • How can I apply this learning to other areas of my life?

Every negative emotion will bring you a new awareness, a lesson or an indication that you are making progress – LOOK FOR IT!

Start a simple journal & write down answers to the above questions, write down any ideas, new awareness that you are getting. Write down what positive changes you’ve made, how you feel and what other positive things are coming into your life. Write it down no matter how big or small it is.

You’ll be surprised by how far you get, and how easy it becomes to be in balance.

To your emotional wellness!

Vimala

Posted in Negative Emotions, Negative Thinking | Leave a comment

Love your Job?

Posted on August 23, 2011 by Vimala

Did you know a recent survey of employees in the USA showed that over 72% of them were unhappy with their jobs? That a lot of unhappy employees.

The fact is most of those people will “wish” they could do something else but not actually do anything else about it. They will keep dreaming of a better future.

But you don’t have to be one of them. You can begin to change your life by becoming clearer about what you really want.

Bach Flower Remedies can help you gain clarity, focus and the courage to move forward.

Wild Oat can help you get clear on what you really want to do in your career, profession or business.

Clematis is very useful if you keep dreaming of a better job or starting your own business but don’t take any action.

Mimulus can help if you have specific fears associated with taking a different path.

Aspen can help if you have general anxiety about leaving your job or doing something new.

Walnut can make changes easier to manage.

Larch can help you gain the confidence in yourself to move forward.

Cerato can help you trust your intuition and judgement.

Try these remedies today and let me know what happens by leaving a comment below.

For detailed instructions on where to buy the remedies, how to use them, etc, please sign up on the right and get my f.r.e-e ebook.

Posted in Managing Change | Leave a comment